Unisex camaraderie: Leo Burnett's Jayshree Sundar (second from left) believes there's a foolproof way to achieve it

Sonila Pokharia, Vice President, Operations, EXL Services, has a simple work dictum. "Walk into the office," she says, "and park your gender outside." Easier said than done, buddy, even today. Women, you may have noticed, are women. And men are men. In most teams, women are outnumbered. This throws up a female dilemma. Get too pally with co-workers, and you risk giving people the wrong idea. Stay too aloof, and you lack team spirit. So where does one strike the balance?

Backslapping Qualms

Jayshree Sundar, Executive Director, Leo Burnett, and a key force behind the Congress' 'Aam Aadmi' ad campaign, draws on 18 years of work experience to put the issue in perspective. "It's hard to walk into a meeting and start backslapping my male colleagues, as it gets misconstrued," she shrugs, making a dual point of sensitivity to others and her own dignity. It was many years ago, as a 24-year-old management trainee at Lintas, however, that Sundar first gave definition to her own 'space'. It's a sense of reserve that hasn't let her down.

Similar clarity can be had from Namrata Thawani, Lead Consultant, Stanton Chase, whose no-nos fly thick and fast. "You can't afford to be a prude, but you can't be too familiar with one person," she says. "Also, you can't mentor a young male colleague or you set tongues wagging, but then you can't be too distant." Phew! Quite a juggle.

Moderation, then. But what if you must perforce err one way or the other? Sudipta Sen Gupta, Head, Marketing, Café Coffee Day, would "much rather be thought of as a prude rather than somebody indulging in gossip". This has been classic advice for women in the corporate world for decades. Some 30 years ago, Rekha Seal was the first woman graduate trainee to join Tata Steel after graduating from Banaras Hindu University in electrical engineering, and she would find herself "standing in a corner in officers' parties where they would come with their wives". Flash forward to Sen Gupta, who started working eight years ago, and goes by similar rules: "I don't go out for drinks with everybody, and am constantly on my guard."

Hang-Up Freedom

Yet, notions of good work equations and cohesive team dynamics-indeed, of what is avant-garde-keep changing all the time. And all the more so in 'young' industries such as business process outsourcing (BPO), where the emphasis is on getting rid of hang-ups. Pokharia of EXL, for instance, "won't think twice before stepping out with clients for drinks", even if she's the sole female around. She even gets offended when men apologise for a risqué joke, for that implies an inhibition on her part. But then, as she figures, she may not be quite the typical female, having been something of a "tomboy" all her life.

Gender neutrality, in fact, is the unspoken assumption at most corporates. No wonder so many women are faced with the peer pressure of 'group bonding'. Teams, goes the thinking, should operate as teams-with everyone on a common wavelength, regardless of gender. Don't women end up trying too hard to be 'one of the guys'? Pokharia concedes that women do "step out of their natural selves to break into that exclusive club". For some, this takes the form of behaving just as they would, at their jobs, if they were male, buddies 'n all. All so often, men too want their female colleagues to be 'cool' (like them, that is).

But this could fail if it involves an unnatural degree of pretence. "Women have to cloak their natural reactions," complains Sen Gupta. Also, so long as men have male hang-ups, why expect women not to have their own? Neutrality sounds nice, but gender-consciousness won't vanish easily. The result: women still find themselves watching their behaviour.

Encoded Worklife

Just what code of personal behaviour to adopt is never simple, and it could differ from office to office, person to person and circumstance to circumstance. For Pokharia, neutrality is the crux: "You have to react to situations as a person and not as a woman."

Dress decorum, however, is important for Seal, 55, who works as an ethics counsellor with Tata Steel. "You can't lead men on and then scream for help when you can't handle it," she says, bluntly. Women need to be aware of all sorts who inhabit an office. Also, to be taken seriously, it helps to project a picture of self-assured composure.

Don't make a big deal of things, advises Sundar, and "don't wear your emotions on your sleeve". Sen Gupta too believes in the judicious use of emotions: for, strangely enough, an angry man is seen as strong and an angry woman as weak. Her advice: be pragmatic. Thawani has also lived and learnt. Earlier, she would "turn red in the face when embarrassed by comments", but has crafted a calm set of policies for herself since. She does not, ever, let male colleagues cry on her shoulder, lest things get messy. Professionalism is her byword. "There are no friends," she says, "only colleagues." And colleagues can tune themselves to a wavelength just as well.

SPOTLIGHT
Marriage Counsellor

Bliss in matrimony: Like Samir Parikh, you could be of help

If you're a keen observer of relationships, and of the pressures they sometimes get under, you might want to become a marriage counsellor. It's a growing market, you must surely have noticed. Apart from a high degree of social sensitivity, what you need is an education in psychiatry or clinical psychology or a course in family/marital therapy, according to Samir Parikh, Consultant

Psychiatrist at Max Healthcare in New Delhi. But this is not about playing your friendly neighbourhood agony aunt, warns Parikh, as there is a "difference between role models and experts". The good news: couples are realising that it's quite okay, indeed quite worthwhile, to visit a professional shrink should the need arise. You could earn a tidy three-figure sum per session.

-Payal Sethi

COUNSELLING
Help, Tarun!

I am a 28-year-old CA working with a multinational shipping company as a senior officer for the last two-and-a-half years. While I believe I have always done well in this job, yearly appraisals seem to speak the contrary. I have never been promoted or given a raise. I joined this company as a fresh graduate and got my CA degree only recently. Other fresh CAs, however, have joined the company as assistant managers and are being paid almost double the salary that I am paid. I cannot understand the reason behind this discrimination. I do not want to work at a much junior level with the same qualifications as my seniors. What should I do?

Quit. There could be only two reasons for your being in this situation. One, you have a misconception about your performance. Since appraisals do not seem to agree with your opinion, you should unbiasedly review your performance once and try to improve on weak areas, if there are any. Two, the company still perceives you to be a non-ca since you joined as one. In either case, things are not likely to change soon. Taking up a new job would allow you to make a fresh start. Also, you must realise that by just adding a qualification, you do not get promoted-your role and responsibility has to change as well.

I am a 32-year-old commerce graduate working as a teacher for the last five years. I could not go in for further studies after graduation on account of financial constraints. I want to switch to the corporate sector now. However, I believe that I need to go in for further educational qualifications if I want to enter the corporate world. What courses should I opt for given that I am interested in computers and economics? Would my age be a hindrance?

A computer related course could come in useful for getting a good job in the corporate sector. You could do a course in computer programming and work in the systems department of a finance firm. You could also attempt an ICWA or a CFA, which are distance learning programmes. All these will help you get into the corporate sector. If you have the time and inclination, you could also go in for a ca degree.

I am a 27-year-old electronics graduate with computers as an additional major. Recently, I got admission into MSc. (biotechnology) at a good university in Maharashtra. I want to pursue drug designing as a career once I complete my post graduation. I have also decided to do a year's diploma in bioinformatics later. However, I am worried that by the time I complete my studies, I'll be considered too old for good positions in leading pharma companies. What should I do about this-should I quit the idea of completing my post graduation and start work immediately?

If you want to work in drug design, I am afraid that without a degree in pharmaceuticals or medicine, it would be difficult for a pharma company to hire you. So if you are keen on drug design, you need to do the biotechnology course. However, I must warn you that drug designing is a team process and often takes years of painstaking work. In addition, it is not really as glamorous a job as people perceive it to be. Also, there is not too much basic designing done in India and opportunities are limited. So before you begin with your masters programme or go ahead with a course in bioinformatics, you would do well to be completely sure of what you are getting into.

I am a 27-year-old engineer working with a navratna PSU for the last three years. Though I am paid well here and have also been appreciated for my performance, I want to quit and start work in a leading MNC. The reason is that I am interested in marketing, and this job is nowhere close to that. Should I go in for an MBA at this stage? Or should I start looking for a job in marketing right away without going in for further education? I would like to add that I do not want to compromise on the salary, though. What should I do?

An MBA would be a good idea at this stage since you are only 27. While it would sharpen your skills in marketing, it would also enhance your career prospects. In addition, an MBA would broaden your scope in that you could look at a wider variety of sectors to work in. The salary will be commensurate with your qualifications and skills, so keeping an open mind would help.

Answers to your career concerns are contributed by Tarun Sheth (Senior Consultant) and Shilpa Sheth (Managing Partner, US practice) of HR firm, Shilputsi Consultants. Write to Help,Tarun! c/o Business Today, Videocon Tower, Fifth Floor, E-1, Jhandewalan Extn., New Delhi-110055.

Glass Action
Not all glass-ceiling grumbling is justified.

That discreet divide: Are you just seeing things?

Try it. Hear of some development, sigh, and mutter 'glass ceiling'. In the company of female co-workers, it has its effect. You get a round of sighs. But at what point does the very term 'glass ceiling'-coined to denote the alleged barrier that keeps women from ascending the corporate hierarchy-become a self-fulfiling stagnation prophecy?

On paper, all the time. "Opportunity and expectations at work are independent of one's gender," says Ashok Reddy, MD, TeamLease, echoing the 'correct' line. Yet, women testify that the glass ceiling exists.

It's wise, then, to watch out for false calls...instances that have nothing to do with that ceiling, really. According to Nandita Gurjar, VP and Head (HR), Progeon, there are times when women opt out of the race themselves, and their productivity dips in comparison with male colleagues. Expecting to keep up, then, is irrational. "After all," she says, "a woman can't have her cake and eat it too." Also, men often make special concessions for women-dropping them home late nights, for example-and this isn't because they see a gender deficiency, adds Nirupa Bareja, Head (HR), Biocon. So be clear.

-Supriya Shrinate

Redone Offices
If women were to redesign offices...

The empress' new office: Just when she thought it's safe

If you cannot adjust," says Urmil Sharma, senior Consultant with SSA Global (India), flatly: "it's your problem." Yet, some talented women confide that they have actually rejected good jobs because of excessively 'male-oriented' office design. So how would an office become less so? Here's the wishlist.

Secluded high-hygiene washrooms: would be insulated from any prying male eyes. Also, "Women need a bit more space than men do," says Maha Siddiqui, a reporter with Doordarshan.

Medical rooms: to be equipped with emergency sanitary-wear and special medicines. Foot-rest stands for pregnant women would be nice, too.

Female cubicles: would be designed to offer privacy. "With men sitting too close, even stretching can be a problem," complains a copywriter at a Delhi-based ad agency.

Male cabins: yes, to be redesigned too, with glass panels. "All office cabins must have glass doors so everyone can see what's going on inside," says Rajashree Kale, Engineering Manager with a software firm.

Creche: on the premises. With trustworthy childcare specialists.

-Ananya Roy