So you're madly truly deeply in love, and plan to get married soon. Congratulations! Feel free to dream, as d-day approaches. Feathering your little love-nest, cosying up every little couch and corner with fluffy cushions, getting those awesome wine glasses, stocking up on scented dinner candles, doing up the baby room with all those wonderful rainbows....

Knock, knock. We hate to do this-dreamus interruptus-but, you see, you wouldn't be reading this magazine if 'money' was only of marginal interest to you, something to be classified with abstract art rather than your 'high alert' list of concerns. And if it's not there on your list, put it down-now. You'll need money, and lots more than you'd think in your current state of mind. Beyond that, you'll need to work out just how you'll manage your money as a couple.

Be warned: money problems have taken many a marriage apart. This is not how the movies tell it, but it happens. Managing money jointly is no easy task, all the more because people's perspectives differ so much. Don't fool yourself.

Views on money: First, get the primary 'thrift equation' right. Discuss your attitude towards money with your fiancé(e). This is a good way to avoid unpleasant surprises at odd times. Talk about the kind of money you grew up with, how much money you spent in your early youth, and how your parents constrained you (if at all) to a budget. Don't be afraid to reveal your monetary fears, however irrational they may seem (a childhood family crisis can create a lifelong insecurity). Also, realism helps; everyone is vulnerable to job-loss these days.

Spending: Work towards converging your spend-orientation. What if a perfectly romantic Rs 1,500 bedroom lamp strikes your fiancé(e) as a darned waste? "For Smita," says Amit, 29, a software professional to be married to this 28-year-old college lecturer, "spending a thousand bucks impulsively on perfume is a really big deal, while I think it's cool." Get a hang of such things before taking the plunge, so that you know what to expect when the credit card bill comes. This may seem trivial to you now, but it can save a lot of discord later. Even long long-distance phone calls to mum can create havoc, if notions of 'value' don't match.

Merging finances: This used to be a 'given' in the old days, but many couples nowadays prefer to keep separate bank accounts, citing 'financial independence' as the reason. You'd better be clear about whether or not you want to pool salaries and operate a joint expense account-with ATM cards for both. "While I don't mind paying bills or sharing expenses, I would hate to share my ATM card as such," says Priti, 31, an event manager to be married to an investment banker, "I think it's personal, and I am glad he understands."

You might, however, prefer to merge finances as a way to show long-term commitment to the marriage. Your spouse ought to be the one person you can trust wholly, over a lifetime, and if this isn't a starting assumption, you might be in for some stormy times. But remember, merging finances not only entails combining assets, but adopting the liabilities as well. Decide how you'll deal with all the retail loans you might want to take as a couple.

Financial responsibility: Again, no matter how equal marriages get, the unforeseen loss of your spouse's income could be a huge blow. In other words, a 'pure life' insurance policy is a must. Yes, for the wife too. Assuming financial responsibility is no longer a male domain, remember. Sharing the burden as equal partners also implies joint decision-making on all payments, investments and so on. Both of you need to be equally well-informed. Set a joint budget for every month, but make space for impulse purchases. Inform your spouse well in time if finances are going haywire. Financial arguments are precisely the sort of unpleasantness that a marriage can ill afford. Trust is the key to any real relationship.

The savings strategy: How much and how to save are always tricky issues. Say, you save 25 per cent of your salary, and your spouse is fine with 10 per cent or less. What should your pooled target be? Assuming, of course, that you're working on a joint saving plan.

Next is the actual strategy. Old-age planning, remember, is best done straight away, and dink-hood (double-income, no kid-hood), while it lasts, is the best time to pile on the investments. Of a joint monthly income of, say, Rs 50,000, saving Rs 10,000 would be a good start. Of this, you could put half into low-risk 'safe' funds (an FD, debt mutual fund or an endowment insurance fund), and the other half into equity. But then, ensure that both of you track your equity portfolio daily-reading up everything you can on your companies. If you're doing well, raise the equity ratio while you're still young enough to bet big on stocks.

Alternatively, if you pool your cash for living expenses, you might want to maintain separate investment portfolios, just in case.

Managing financial documents: Work this out in advance as well. Ask yourself: Do you want your spouse to co-own all your assets (or some)? For which assets should your spouse be the nominee? What about your will?

It is best to work all these details out and discuss them with your to-be spouse. Maybe you're enjoying these moments of dreamy sky-gazing. But the rational part of your mind still needs to keep whirring. If there's a single-word formula for marital success, it's 'realism'.